A Weighty Issue


This has been a big topic on my mind this week. Being the vain person that I am my appearance really shapes my mood and general attitude and when I’m not happy with it it’s obvious. A couple of months ago I started a series that never was called “Bikini Body Ready”. I intended to start a health kick (again) and come back with some ‘after’ pictures that put my ‘befores’ to shame.. unfortunately little has changed since then, if anything my body image has deteriorated. I have my up days when I love my figure (rare) and then my downs when I feel like never eating again.. but inevitably reach for a huge bowl of pasta as comfort. I’m not necassarily a comfort eater but I definitely eat when I don’t need to and what I eat is never good. When I returned to work a month ago and joined the office gym things were looking up.. I was feeling motivated and running every day during my lunch hour as well as occasional weights and toning exercises. I really enjoyed it, had a gym buddy in a work colleague and felt more inclined to reach for healthier food after a good workout. I honestly believed I’d finally found something I could stick to until the personal trainer told me that I could run all day long but if I didn’t change my diet I would lose no weight. I never went back. It was possibly the single most demotivating thing anyone has ever said to me. So for the last week I’ve been ‘fat’, eating more junk food than usual, reaching for sweets I don’t even want and drinking sugar-filled energy drinks like they’re going out of fashion. I’ve felt a bit rubbish about my weight since Milo was born in November but last night I hit a new low, I just felt so awful about myself and I’ve had enough. I’m not someone that piles on weight when I eat rubbish, I’ve always been ‘lucky’ like that but at the same time once my body has decided where it wants to be it’s tough to shift those stubborn lbs. In his infinite wisdom my trainer also told me that women who carry weight around their middles usually have too much estrogen. I found this article that corroborates his theory. Apparently contraception can have a lot to do with this, I used to have an IUD coil, I chose it because it doesn’t affect your mood and is a long term fix – I had mine for 5 years. The fitting is not pleasant so I’ve been putting it off and having the Depo injections since I had Milo but since weighty discovery I am eager to switch. That being said I still need to address my diet, I’ve never felt great body-wise but I’d give anything to just feel good right now. I know that baby weight comes off naturally in the year after birth, given that Milo is approaching 11 months and my weight hasn’t changed for 8 weeks I think it’s about time I did something proactive about what’s left. I am going to start using the My Fitness Pal app on my iPod which I found helpful in the past and get back to the gym when I’m back at work on Tuesday. I can’t stick to anything drastic so I find calorie counting easiest for me since I’m not cutting out any food groups.. however limiting grains is supposed to show quick results.. we’ll see.

My mood has always hung on how I feel about myself, whether it be a bad hair day, acne or right now, weight. I’d love for this post to have been about accepting what you have but at 26 I’m too young to give up on my body. I know there are people out there larger than me but I’m not naturally broad, I’m petite and a little overweight. It’s only a dress size but it will make me feel a lot better to lose that. I don’t mean to offend anyone by this, I know it’s a controversial issue and there will be those out there that think I’m tiny just as there are those who think I’m huge. All that really matters is how I feel. I don’t want to be modelesque, I’m realistic about what I can look like after two kids but I know I can look better than this.. I’m just lazy. This is my October challenge, see you in a month!

Miss BB



  1. rachel
    30 September, 2012 / 2:56 pm

    I cud hav written this post myself. Ive bn tryin to lose my baby weight since last october but i just cant give up the junk. Even havin loads of events to go to has given me no motivation. Im goin on holiday in may and the thought of wearin a bikini actually gives me shivers. Think ill b spending the week covered up. Im havin a huge crisis of confidence at the mo. Im in the middle of a break out that i cant seem to clear,my hair is just bleugh and then ive got this belly i just dont want. Im totally with u and look forward to reading ur up coming posts x x

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:08 pm

      yeah i always think if i have an event to work towards it will motivate me but it never does.. just stresses me out!

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:19 pm

      it seems lots of people are feeling the same right now! I am the WORST for junk food but its convenience.. if there was a drivethru fish/salad bar i’d choose that every time! I totally empathis with your hair/skin woes too.. the worse you feel the more you stress and nothing improves! try and chill out and forget about it for a week is my advice.. breakouts clear up quicker when you don’t worry so much about them x

  2. lyra
    30 September, 2012 / 4:02 pm

    Well… I don’t think your trainer was being demotivating, he was being honest. It is 70% diet and 30% exercise. Sorry but thats just life. I suggest doing some research on what makes you healthy, rather than what will make you lose weight the quickest. For example running 2 miles may help you burn off fat, but lifting will help you tone your muscles and make you look defined. You really need to look into body fat percentages and measuring yourself if you want to see changes where you want them. I find the 30 day shred excellent for a starting point, and nutritional guides are very helpful in telling you what is healthy, and more importantly how much is healthy. Sometimes people think they are eating healthily, but they are not, and its sad to see because they are depriving themselves, when they really don’t need to.

    I’ve struggled with it for a long time until I actually educated myself, and came to a stage where enough was enough and I was sick of my negative body image. You have to want it badly enough, and now I have a little stickies on my fridge, my computer and my water bottle saying ‘no more excuses’ because at the end of the day we can all make excuses not to do it.


    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:10 pm

      you can’t tell me how to feel lol.. I FELT demotivated, I don’t think that was the intention but that was the outcome regardless. I have started my healthy eating again today and will be back at the work gym this week, i just needed to find my ‘want’ to eat better again since exercise alone wasn’t going to do it

  3. 30 September, 2012 / 4:03 pm

    Well I think you look lovely, but if you want a tip – cut out dairy! I cut out dairy and wheat due to IBS and it really helped me feel better but as a side effect I also lost a dress size, altogether I think I lost a stone. It’s obviously quite extreme and not for everyone but as I was feeling so rubbish beforehand, I could have tried anything! x

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:11 pm

      your comment had a massive impact.. i suspect i have ibs too. my mum has it and i always feel rubbish.. the time has come to cut out food to see what’s affecting me negatively and i’m trying dairy this week. it’s so hard ’cause i’m a cheese-a-holic but after you’re comment i really want to try. every night i feel sick and bloated and chances are.. that’s cheese!

      • 1 October, 2012 / 8:35 pm

        Yeah, IBS does that to you, I got to the point where I was feeling sick literally every day and didn’t want to eat anything. I went to the doctor and told her that and she was like “yeah, lets get you to the nutritionist!”. I now don’t eat dairy, wheat, beef, pork and caffeine and I rarely get an upset stomach (touch wood!) Dairy is renowned for causing nausea, I hope cutting it out has as profound effect on you as it did me!

  4. allie
    30 September, 2012 / 4:09 pm

    i wish you all the luck in the world! trust me, once you start eating healthy and working out, you will look and feel SO MUCH BETTER, and you will never regret it πŸ˜‰ good luck! dont give up, because itΒ΄s SO WORTH IT!

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:12 pm

      i will feel so much better about myself even just eating better.. the weightloss will hopefully just naturally follow x

  5. 30 September, 2012 / 4:52 pm

    Your PT was right, however demotivating it might have seemed, running will not quickly change your body without a change in diet. In fact nothing will change your body without a change in diet. However if you want the most potent mixture to change your body then change your diet and do weights. Seriously. Ditch the running (unless you really enjoy it, and then schedule 1-2 runs a week) and take up weights – squats, lunges, deadlifts, chest press, shoulder press etc. Preferbly with free weights rather than machines and nothing below 10Kg .I promise you if you do this you will see the changes you want. The PT at your gym should be able to show you how to do these exercises.
    Love your site.

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:15 pm

      i know he knows what he’s talking about it’s just unfortunate that his words of wisdom just left me feeling like ‘whats the point?’ I will start again this week, he has shown us what we should be doing alongside a balanced diet and how quickly we should see results so.. we’ll see! x

  6. 30 September, 2012 / 5:05 pm

    I really identify with what your saying here. When I say I need to lose weight the general reactin from others is that I’m fine as i am. But really it’s about how you feel within yourself that’s most important. I’m currently 7lbs less due to using the my fitness pal app but recently, after a bit of a stressful time at work, I’ve been shoving sweets in my face like they are going out of fashion.

    You’ve inspired me to get back on the wagon. I look forward to keeping up with your progress. If I’m brave I may blog my progress as well,x

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:22 pm

      i’m only half a stone heavier now than before i had milo but in truth i felt like i could ave lost a little weight then too! luckily i dont eat many sweets i just love convenience food ’cause i’m lazy. if there were always premade healthy meals in the fridge i’d be super slim lol x

  7. Rachel
    30 September, 2012 / 5:24 pm

    You honestly CAN lose weight by exercising and not changing your diet. My friend eats so much shit, and since going to the gym she has lost loads of weight. Obviously it’s more beneficial to do both, but exercise alone makes a difference. There’s the whole “burn off more calories than you consume and you’ll lose weight” .. So if you eat the same amount, and go to the gym and burn off more than you have, there should be a difference. Anyway, good luck! I think eating lots of healthy foods helps because it makes you feel better/happier and you’re more likely to stick to eat, whereas eating crappy food makes you feel like crap and you want to eat more of it!

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:24 pm

      i think so too.. not weights but cardio will burn fat but i guess healthy eating is always a good idea!

  8. Carmel
    30 September, 2012 / 6:21 pm

    Some helpful tips I picked up were actually from Kimberley Snyder. The thing that stuck with me the most was digestion and how it effects everything. Nowadays I make sure for breakfast I have the Glowing Green Smoothie (water, spinach/kale, romaine lettuce, an apple, a pear and some lemon juice) you wouldn’t believe how many benefits you will see and it actually tastes good. I take a probiotic supplement in the morning and a digestive enzyme supplement before each meal. I did used to have some kind of salad for dinner but I don’t even need to do that now – lunch and dinner are whatever we fancy usually. I do pilates or yoga most weekdays but I don’t believe that has done anything weight-wise, it’s more of a feel good thing, you know? I really want to tell you you are perfect right now but I have been here myself and all I needed to lose was a stone and I felt so much better. Good luck.

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:30 pm

      I love the idea of smoothies but really dislike them. Don;t like milkshakes either.. I’m odd I know! I think my version would be soup so I’m going to try and blend as many vegetables as I can once a week to have a little every day. I’m not great with fruits etc so it’s the one way I know I can eat that stuff. the supplements sound interesting because I have real problems with deigestion, as I said to someone else I suspect I may have IBS, my mum has it and the symptoms all seem similar..not fun but made worse by a bad diet! Like you I dont need to lose much, I’m pretty happy with everything but my middle but I know I have to lose it everywhere before that will come off. My mum asked why I want to lose it too and i get it.. I’m not fat but for much the same reason I got divorced at 25 I don’t want to ‘settle’ at 26! It’s like I’m giving up on myself x

      • Carmel
        2 October, 2012 / 1:17 pm

        I forgot to mention that the main benefit of the smoothie I mentioned is the high fibre content, but like you said I’m sure there are alternatives for people who don’t like smoothies. Have you considered booking a few sessions with a Kinesiologist? Quite expensive but they really do get to the root of what causes bad digestion, bloating etc. I am pretty small like you and found that although I can gain weight pretty easily, it also means I drop weight quickly too – as soon as I got to the root of my problem. Sometimes I do wish I was 5’11 though…

  9. charlene
    30 September, 2012 / 8:15 pm

    i never too much estrogen could affect your weight. on thursday i had removed a conraceptive implant (implanon) from my arm and had it in for 2 years. i think it had estrogen in it and i was told a side effect of having it in would be weight gain and i did gain some weight but i also found with my implant in i was more emotional and depressed and the doctor told within a week of having it removed my hormones should go back to normal so hopefully il feel less depressed and comfort eat less

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:35 pm

      After having Ella I had the depo injection and thought it was making me depressed.. in hindsight I probably had post natal depression but nobody at the doctors felt like to pursuing that so we discussed contraception that doesn’t emit a hormone and the only thing I’m aware of other than prophylactics is the IUD Coil.. It’s in my womb essentially so it’s sorting it from the source and has no need to go any further, I don’t have periods and I don’t have mood swings. I’ve meant to get one fitted every since I had Milo like I said but the depo didn’t seem to be having the same depressing effect so I just left it but knowing it can effect my estrogen levels and in turn my weight is definitely enough to make me want to have the coil again. It’s not pleasant but I’d definitely recommend it!

    • NymphetamineKiss
      7 October, 2012 / 10:04 pm

      Implanon – and Nexplanon, the newer one – don’t have estrogen. I know as I have one and medically can’t have estrogen due to my pancreas.

      Weight gain isn’t attributed to it either – it is with the depo though.

      However the emotional/hormonal feeling is pretty common – cerazette is the same chemical, and while I’ve only recently gone across to the implant, it’s taken me a LONG (a year or more) time to settle on cerazette, and it’s still not great, just the best I can do without estrogen and keeping a very high success rate.

      Good luck in finding the right contraceptive for you, and in feeling better πŸ™‚

      NK x

      • missbudgetbeauty
        11 October, 2012 / 9:36 pm

        I will almost certainly go back to the mirena coil but it’s so scary since the first time was very uncomfortable so stupidly i just had another depo which sets me back at least 3 months (to a year) *sigh*

  10. charlene
    30 September, 2012 / 8:16 pm

    *never knew

  11. Rachel
    1 October, 2012 / 6:32 am

    You will hate me for saying this but i have estrogen DEFICIENCY and guess where im thickest? im not massive wear a size 10 jeans.. a push 12 but certainly no washboard stomach over here! i have always had big boobs aswell, i had a reduction 2 n half yrs ago from a 34g to a 34 b … now im a stone and half less but gone up to 34e… work that out!your personal trainer sounds like a dΒ£$% hardly inspiring! he could have told you what would work better for your target areas. I will totally support you on your journey to lose weight, it is hard dont let this deter you. x

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:38 pm

      haha! well I have never had big boobs (apart from during pregnancy) and so weight around my middle is even worse as I look disproportionate. My PT is a nice enough guy but I don’t think he realised who he was talking to. He get’s a lot of people in there desperate to lose weight and really committed.. I was neither. I was kind of bothered my weight and enjoying the lunchtime activity so the least bit of negativity was going to tip me back the other way. I am however resolved now and wil be back at it this week.. todays been great food wise x

  12. 1 October, 2012 / 9:04 am

    Sounds like something I need to do, there’s always that extra bit that you can’t shift…think I’m one of those people that kinda eat healthy and kinda exercise. I didn’t realise about the oestrogen either, I might look into that. I’ve started to ignore all the “healthy spreads” and things like that, as pure vegetable fats are better and more natural; spreads contain more unknown chemicals and oils which are worse for us! Back to lard on the roasties! I don’t think you could offend anyone, as it’s all about personal comfort and how you want to see yourself; nothing wrong with that πŸ™‚ x

  13. Ashlea
    1 October, 2012 / 5:12 pm

    have you every considered slimming world? i have just written a whole speil on the benefits but my session had times out! its really easy, they have recently changed the concept. bread, cheese and pasta every day if you wanted too, it is great. i have lost 8lbs in a month and i love the diet as it does not restrict you it’s all about little tweaks here and there. just a thought xx

    • missbudgetbeauty
      1 October, 2012 / 7:44 pm

      no but lauralovesbeautyX on youtube is a big fan and lost a lot on it.. I only really want to lose a stone.. can you join a group for that? stupid question?

      • Carly
        3 October, 2012 / 3:33 pm

        You can join a group as long as you have over 7lb to lose. I can vouch for Slimming World too – it works! πŸ™‚

        • missbudgetbeauty
          11 October, 2012 / 9:48 pm

          thanks! i never knew that!

      • NymphetamineKiss
        7 October, 2012 / 10:06 pm

        Saw that no one had replied, so thought I would πŸ™‚

        As far as I know, anyone with 5lbs+ to lose can join, YOU choose your target, and once you reach it, you’ll attend free for life πŸ™‚

        Could definitely be worth a shot, it’s very flexible and doable πŸ™‚

        Good luck xx

        • missbudgetbeauty
          11 October, 2012 / 9:35 pm

          wow! definitely worth thinking about it then

  14. 1 October, 2012 / 8:29 pm

    Good luck, Khila! x

  15. Monique
    2 October, 2012 / 5:10 am

    I went to see a nutritionist because I was fed up with feeling crap. He told me that food is so much more important than exercise. He gave me a great meal plan which I love and have been following for 5 weeks now. I have hardly been exercising which I do need to change but when I saw him for a 5 week follow-up, he said that it was good that my body was relying on the food I eat to lose weight rather than exercise. I have lost 3.7kg and 23cm overall and I feel fantastic. This way of eating comes so naturally to me now. The important things my nutritionist told me is that I must not get hungry because that is when the metabolism starts to slow down, so I eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, supper, and if I am hungry late at night, then another snack. Another important thing is to eat some protein at every meal, and no carbs at night but you must have them at breakfast and lunch.

    I hope you find what works for you. Keep us updated πŸ™‚
    Monique x

  16. Cristina
    3 October, 2012 / 7:51 pm

    Hi! I have strugglde with weight almost my entire life but lately I believe I’ve been able to make a change. I started the Dukan diet at the beginning of august and also started running; I have lost almost 17 pounds! I am feeling better than ever. I really know how you feel (lost, demotivated, angry but also almost surrendered to the situation) because I was feeling the same. But I can tell you that change is possible

    • missbudgetbeauty
      11 October, 2012 / 9:47 pm

      i dont think i could stick to a full on diet plan but just cutting out dairy has eliminated all of my nausea! so i totally believe this stuff can work to make you feel better

  17. EmmaJ
    7 October, 2012 / 2:18 pm

    Good luck with your weight goals. I am due to have a baby this November and I feel like I will never be thin again! I am 5’5″ and a size 12 before baby. I am not a massive exerciser, I go to the gym usually 3 nights a week and do home workouts in between. I kept up kettlebells until the 7th month and have been doing prenatal workouts, walks and yoga since. Despite that I have refused to look at the scales for the last two months.

    Anyway you mentioned you were carrying weight around your middle, I don’t know if this would be relevant to you, but I have been researching post natal workouts and came across something called the ‘Tupler Technique’ for repairing the abdominals after pregnancy. I did not know this before, but apparently even if you had a small muscle separation it can cause the abs to buldge out and traditional crunches only make this worse and make it look and feel like you are carrying weight on your stomach.

    Another thing I found great pre- pregnancy (I was on a diet and had lost a stone πŸ™ )was weight loss resources. I am not a big fan of going to meetings of slimming world, weight watchers or the likes, but this site is relatively cheap, let me do up a plan, track my weight and I could input my food to make up my daily calorie count and exercise to make up my calorie expenditure. It was a real eye opener as to where I was building up the most calories (drinks!) and what exercise was burning the most calories.

    Best of luck x.

    • missbudgetbeauty
      11 October, 2012 / 9:42 pm

      that’s really useful, thank you! and dont worry about post baby.. after my first i sprung back with no effort lol

  18. 7 October, 2012 / 3:42 pm

    Hi, i’ve always struggled with my weight and i’m only 21! but this January i got up to 13.7 st and its the heaviest I’ve ever been. I downloaded my fitness pal and started doing the NHS Couch to 5K and i’ve lost 2 stone. I still eat pasta and all those carbs that people tell you to stay away from because i am a pasta eating machine πŸ˜€ I do try and go the gym at least 3 times a week and also sometimes when i really can’t be bothered i do some pilates videos on youtube which are fantastic! The channel is called blogilates if you want to have a look πŸ™‚ hope this has helped in some way and remember to just keep at it, weigh yourself every 2 weeks to see your progress and once the weight starts coming off its easier to keep motivated xx

    • missbudgetbeauty
      11 October, 2012 / 9:38 pm

      wow I will look for that ’cause sometimes I’m just bleugh!!! cant be bothered to run haah. I am just concerned that although I’m not overweight if I just let myself go entirely I will be beyond help by the time I realise how much I’ve gained.. even if it takes 10 years I’d rather get a handle on it now

  19. Emma Roberts
    8 October, 2012 / 10:18 pm

    I personally feel you look great and i do not think you look overweight. However no amount of people telling you this will be able to change the way you feel, and I certainly can not help my insecurities no matter how many people reassure me differently.

    As someone who does not have children and does not need to lose weight etc, you may think I am the lucky one but I am extremely lazy. Granted I walk and use public transport a lot but my diet is not brilliant, in fact quite the opposite and exercise is non-existent. I wish I was bigger so I had an external motivator to help me shift the lifestyle changes I am wanting to make but lack the motivation to do. I find if I try to be too radical in my changes I give up after three days. My new current plan is to introduce the changes i want to make gradually and not get too hung up on missing a day or going what the hell and lapsing a little bit. Lifestyle changes to get the results you want is a long term commitment, not a short term quick fix.

    • missbudgetbeauty
      11 October, 2012 / 9:35 pm

      absolutely true and i’m pretty much like you but i want to be generally healthier and change my lifestyle a little with hopefully a knock on effect of losing a few extra lbs lol

  20. Rhona
    11 October, 2012 / 2:55 pm


    I really enjoy reading your blog and this article.

    About 3-4 years ago I was 12 stone and smoked. I quit the fags and joined a gym and started doing classes (Body Attack/step and pump) and along with MyFitnessPal I lost about 2 stone.

    The weight started creeping back on and recently my friend had told me about a way of eating called the Paleo Diet, his body fat went from 30% to about 15% so I thought I’d give it a go. It’s BRILLIANT, lost 6lbs in the first week and I don’t have much to lose.

    You basically cut out bread/pasta/sugar etc. Anything that our ancestors wouldn’t have eaten. You eat clean foods like veggies and meats. This way of eating has a crazy amount of health benefits but most of all it stabilises your blood sugar/insulin levels so you constantly have energy.

    Here’s a wee bit of info on how it can help IBS – http://paleodietlifestyle.com/paleo-and-ibs/

    Hope you find it interesting.

    • missbudgetbeauty
      11 October, 2012 / 9:17 pm

      Hi Rhona

      Thanks for the info

  21. Karen
    10 November, 2012 / 10:23 am

    As someone who is very overweight I would kill to have your figure, but I still understand where you’recoming from. It all comes down to how you feel about yourself when you look in the mirror and even when you’re skinny if you’re not eating well and looking after yourself you still feel like crap. So best of luck with your challenge,I’m going to take a leaf out of your book and make more of an effort too!

    • missbudgetbeauty
      15 November, 2012 / 9:06 am

      I appreciate that! I don’t mean to make anyone else feel worse by complaining about my weight but it’s all relative and I’m petite.. I can’t carry any extra weight without it looking really obvious!

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