Blog to Better, Not to Break

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We’ve all seen those posts on instagram that make us feel like we’re not quite living our best lives. That we’re not the parents we should be, the friends, the partners, the siblings the children. They suck, quite literally! They suck the joy out of social media and life in general.

That might sound extreme but this is the world we live in now, very few of us manage to live a social media-free life and chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re not one of them. We all talk about this from the outsider perspective but I want to look at it from the view of the poster. Whether you’re officially and ‘influencer’ or not we all have influence on the people who have chosen to include us in their feed. We all need to take some amount of responsibility for what we’re sharing with those people. Of course you only want to share the cute baby pictures, and the loved up snaps with your partner.. I’m not suggesting you adopt the ‘my baby daddy will be sorry’ approach we’ve all seen on facebook. I am very much not suggesting this. Nobody wants that!! You don’t have to share the bad stuff, just don’t force the sunshine and rainbow in your friends faces 24/7 is all I’m saying.

Bloggers have a slightly heightened responsibility because the people who’ve let us in to their feeds are mostly strangers. My friends know my bad days, they know to take a smiling snap of me and the kids with a pinch of salt because they know they were driving me up the wall just 24 hours ago. You don’t necessarily know that. You might be in that frustrated haze right now and seeing my smiling face might be just enough to push you over the edge. It doesn’t have to be parenting related but this is definitely where I personally lose my cool because it is not easy all the time. It’s not possible but some people want you to think that it is and that’s just not helpful!!

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Similarly there are those who share a steady stream of perfect shots in exotic locales as if they live on perma-vacation. They don’t, nobody does. I get that you’re going for a vibe but would it kill you to throw in an un-edited picture of yourself at home from time to time? Just for a balance? It’s possible to look amazing and still be a regular person, living a regular life. It’s possible to make that look really quite fabulous. Hannah Gale does it all the time! And she’s just had a baby!!

There’s room for the aspirational, for sure but in 2018 we want relatable. We want to feel like we could sit and have a coffee with this chick and that we might have something more to talk about than filters and insta themes. I want people that find me online to not only see a polished exterior (good job, really cause I’ve never achieved that) but a little of the real me through the cracks as well. I want my daughter to want to share pictures of her actual face that don’t have bunny ears and giant eyes. I hate this trend for perfection over personality, we’re becoming more and more vapid and if we don’t fight back it will take us. We will all continue to filter our lives to the point of pointlessness.

Every time you post you have the opportunity to influence those who ‘follow’ you. The question is, do you want that influence to better or to break?

 

*These picture were taken in Jimmy’s Bar, Manchester by my friend Charl – GingerGirlSays – on St Patricks Day. It was about 4pm and I was home in bed by 10. That’s my idea of a good time 😉

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7 Comments

    • missbudgetbeauty
      Author
      18 March, 2018 / 2:26 pm

      ditto!! I only have facebook to run the page for my blog. I never look at my feed

      • Britophile
        14 April, 2018 / 11:19 pm

        Ha – and I just sent you a friend request. Anyway – I’ve been enjoying your vlogging and (now that I’ve found it) your blogging) and even your podcast with Em. You are doing a good job of keeping it real. Much appreciated.
        -Andrea

  1. 18 March, 2018 / 3:55 pm

    I’m definitely here for the relatable rather than the aspirational! I like a perfect shot, but a mixture on instagram is great. I’ve not long got rid of my “theme” and think my insta looks so much better for it.

  2. Sharron Parsons
    18 March, 2018 / 5:23 pm

    Definitely! I’ve had a friend of my husbands on Facebook for a while. We chat a bit and both us make fun of him. I actually met her in real life and I honestly wouldn’t have recognised her if I fell over her because every photo on her Facebook had some kind of snap chat dog filter, or some kind of beauty mode that makes your eyes look like saucers, and your skin flawless. I get it, everyone wants to look good but its getting a bit much now. Especially when you see that on your feed and look at the meth head staring back in mirror and wonder why everyone looks that good except you. I’m old enough and wise enough to know that’s not real life but I worry about kids growing up with all this stuff. Excellent post BTW

  3. 19 March, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I totally agree with the point you’re making. I actually started following you because the realness that you keep through your blogging and I rather have realness over “perfection”

    loravedom.wordpress.com

  4. 6 April, 2018 / 12:35 am

    Yes! Social can send me on such a spiral. I feel so bad at it and yet I hate how addicted I am. Vicious circle!
    Thanks for sharing this.
    Ashleigh | Ashleigh Renay

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