How are we not DIVORCED yet???… and a sidebar rant

I am sooo frustrated right now!!
I can’t remember if I told you this but over a month ago my divorce went to a judge who denied it because my ex didn’t tick a box that stated I was intolerable to live with… arrghh!!
So.. he went back to the court and filled in yet another form… making sure to tick ALL the boxes this time… but it’s been over a month and we’ve heard nothing! I will be calling the court in the morning for an update but I can’t believe I thought I would be divorced by August… October at the latest.. Now I’m thinking my plans for a February wedding are a little far fetched.
As soon as a judge sees our paperwork and signs off on it we have a 6 week wait and then we will be divorced, it’s that simple… once it’s actually done!
On the other side I have Lees divorce that’s nowhere near that stage yet! I put up for my court fees, as agreed with my ex, we agreed also to pay Lees court fees but discovered his ex could get them at a lower rate because of her earnings.. so she ended up applying and getting half off..
We paid the remaining fee and thought all we were waiting for was some paperwork.. weeks went by and nothing. Last week he got a text saying that she was not willing to use her “discount” and that she thought he should have to pay the full fees. WHYYY??? She was basically blackmailing him, I think she knows we plan to get married and is just trying to make things difficult..
In the end I said if we had to wait we’d have to wait but i wasn’t going to be blackmailed. At the end of the day she is divorcing him and officially she would pay the fees, we have agreed to pay them because he left her and she’s pretty angry about it.. but it’s not like it was a couple of months ago it was like 2 years..
So it came down to us saying we would claim the money we’d paid back and wait till she really wanted a divorce then she’d have to pay for it.. at this point she backed off and said she would deal with it.
Turns out she’s had the papers a while and just hadn’t sent them back to the solicitors.. nightmare!

Sometime it’s tough to be angry at her because in he position I know alot of people would do the same thing but you would think you would know that your marriage wasn’t working!
I didn’t have an affair with he husband (although I’m sure she believes otherwise) He left her and started seeing me. My ex dealt with it and is perfectly civil, we still parent Ella as a team and when I compare him with Lees ex I just can’t feel sorry for her. She really is horrible… but then I would say that wouldn’t I , I’m the “other woman”… I hate that BTW.
Not quite what I wanted from my life but if you meet the love of your life and you’re married to other people… are you supposed to just continue as you are? We didn’t do anything wrong, nobody cheated on anyone, we just weren’t in love anymore and when that happens someone always gets hurt.

I didn’t intend this post to run so deep… it was only really supposed to be a rant about divorce but I have a lot of stuff bubbling under the surface that gets away from me sometimes.

I think I’ve been pretty honest about the situatuion on the whole but have no doubt it will lose me “fans”, “followers” and “subscribers” by being open… not everyone agrees with what we did but I’m past caring. You’re supposed to live your life for you, nobody else, whatever you do you should at least try to be happy where you can and no matter what frustrations I have… I am the happiest in a relationship I’ve ever been.
I like being able to share stuff with you guys and would love to hear your stories!

xoxo

miss BB

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