It’s been more than 7 years that I’ve been doing this blogging thing now and it occurred to me that all of my long term “real” jobs have come in around the 7 year mark before I’ve made a move to do something different. I’m not someone who can stay in one place for too long, I don’t like to get too comfortable because I hate the feeling of a big change but I crave change constantly. I’m an enigma wrapped in a vest (was in Noel Fielding that said that?)
The huge difference between blogging and a ‘real’ job however is that it’s constantly changing. It’s an ever-evolving concept which is why it can often feel impossible to nail down and really grow as a business but it’s also what keeps me interested. This year saw me finally break and wonder whether returning to an office job full time might be the right move for me. I thought a more stable income and leaving work at the door might let me relax occasionally and give me some time when I’m not thinking about work. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) blogging has me now, I will never be able to totally close that chapter and the thought of a steady income is actually terrifying. Part of the fun of working for yourself is that your earning potential is a total unknown. I realise that’s a personality thing and I have friends (and a husband) who couldn’t live like that but it works for me.. and I work for it.
I could say that blogging has changed my life because I get to work from home doing something that I love 3 days a week but lots of people love their jobs. I know we all complain but we don’t all hate work.. if you’ve found your passion and you’re making a living doing it then you are pretty much living the dream whether you’re an accountant or an artist. The most significant change I’ve noticed since working for myself is how much more self aware I am. I’m learning about myself all the time! By writing things like this or watching myself back a million times in vlogs, interacting with people. I know I’m loud and obnoxious, I know that I talk over people, I know my major social flaws and I try to avoid being a total pain in the ass wherever possible or apologise in advance where not.
Unfortunately blogging has also taught me to be less trusting. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am forever over-sharing with the wrong people, if I hit it off with someone I think we’re going to be the best of friends only to find out later that they’re hitting it off with everyone and are the blogging equivalent of a social climber. A social media climber? Worse still are those people who are lovely to your face and then sub tweeting up a storm the moment your back is turned. Thankfully I haven’t had too many of these experiences but it definitely deterred me from getting too involved in the social side of blogging. I have my small circle or lovely friends and it’s always nice to meet new people but I’m constantly trying (and frequently failing) to be a little more guarded. In fact that’s a whole other post, we’re really talking about colleagues more than friends and how many of your colleagues have you become besties with? Exactly.
All in all blogging has changed me (I think) for the better. No matter what the future holds, it’s made me more industrious, it’s nurtured my creativity and given me a boat load of confidence that I never would have had without it. I feel like I’ve grown as a person over those 7 years far more than I would have had I stuck with my 9-5. I never went to university, I didn’t even finish my A-Levels, I never had any ambition, had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and yet blogging has introduced me to limitless possibilities for me to explore. All of which (ironically) rely on the creativity that got me nowhere at school. Even if the blogosphere were swallowed up in to a cyber sink hole tomorrow I’d be walking away with no regrets, feeling pretty good about the time I spent on that internet thing nobody remembers .