Heyy! I posted yesterday about the first day of Autumn and mentioned there that I’ve taken a little break from my blog this month so I wanted to do a little update post but when I sat down to write this I wondered.. has anyone even noticed? If you watch my daily vlogs you will know that last month I was feeling a little low and didn’t really know why.. I was stressed out and tired all the time and a couple of you suggested that perhaps I was overdoing things. I decided you may be on to something, I definitely overextended myself commitment wise over the summer and August was the straw the broke the camels back I guess. I was vlogging every day, posting my daily lipstick (which sounds like nothing but when you say you’ll do something every day it’s kind of stressful to know you can’t take a day off from it) as well as posting at least 1 other time here on my beauty blog, 3 – 5 videos per week on my main YouTube channel and applying for a new job because I lost my old one. It was all a little much and between you guys calling me out and the conversation I had with fellow blogger Laura and Emma about Time Management – watch that here – I realised I was putting myself under unnecessary pressure. So with that in mind I decided to take a step back in September, I was starting my new job (it’s going great, thanks for asking) Ella was going back to school and I just wanted something resembling a break. That being said I obviously didn’t disappear completely which is why I’m thinking some of you will have had no idea this even happened but that is a lot to do with my lovely guest bloggers.
I have never taken a blogging break and I never want to go away completely but seriously, I was at the point where I thought it was perfectly normal to vlog my wedding day AND honeymoon, sit up editing all night while my husband was sleeping next to me.. it was kind of taking over my life. I absolutely love doing it but it’s a bit like pizza.. you don’t want to stop eating it cause it’s so good but if you eat too much it will make you sick.. and then maybe you wont feel so great about pizza anymore. I never want to get to a stage where I hate blogging, I have been sitting here for hours writing up my posts for the week and I am happy to do it but I need to tell myself that if something doesn’t go up this Wednesday the world isn’t going to end.
If I really think about it now the anxiety started when I thought this was going to be my job, I lost my temp position where I’d been for 2 years and I was in a place with my blog where I could live off the income I make and still be comfortable so I saved some money as a ‘bills buffer’ in case something terrible happened and I didn’t earn anything for a month or two and prepared for full time blog-dom. As luck would have it I landed a part time (2 days) permanent job at the same company I was already working so I really landed on my feet ’cause now I have my little safety net of guaranteed income but I guess that ‘this is my job’ mentality that I drilled in to myself stuck and got me a little crazy. I started thinking, ‘what if something happens and I can’t post for a month?’ and other ridiculous scenarios, I’d imagine it’s the same for all self employed folk but I’d never been there before and so this huge boat load of pressure came down on me and I wasn’t prepared. At the time I didn’t see it but looking back that was definitely the trigger. People say all the time that you have to allow yourself the break and I always thought ‘no, you’ve committed to update your blog x times per week and you should stick to it but I now realise it’s not the actual time, it’s just knowing it’s available. So.. this was a very rambly post but I guess it still kind of slots in with the blogger month as a cautionary tale – don’t make yourself nuts trying to post a video or something you’ve written.. whatever it is can wait a day I guarantee it and I will be repeating that to myself every day until I become less obsessive.
I will be back to regular programming next month with SO many reviews that have been waiting in the wings during my off period and I’d like to take a moment to say a HUGE thanks to my guest bloggers who’ve allowed me some serious chill time during my favourite time of the year.. now I’m going to put down the computer and get in bed at a semi reasonable hour – and this will be going up in the morning – don’t think I’m just going to bed now – I’m not QUITE that bad 😉
Oh and I’m going to leave you with these photos that can’t help but make you smile..