Midweek Meltdown

Cosmopolitain Las VegasI didn’t post yesterday because we were all exhausted. We fell asleep and almost missed our evening show, Milo was miserable and by the time we got back I was at breaking point. Maybe because of the aforementioned exhaustion, maybe because the kids were driving my nuts but probably because I had such high expectations for this trip and it just wasn’t living up to them.

We took the kids to New York last year and I received many comments from online know-betters that it was no place for children. I went all out in the week we were there to show the kids the best the city had to offer them and to prove those commenters wrong. It was amazing, our best family holiday yet and although even I was skeptical about a 5 year old in sin city I was optimistic after last years success. So when I finally snapped yesterday I think that was the primary reason.

I cleaned up the hotel room, organised the bathroom, told myself today would be a fresh start and promised to have sunnier outlook in the morning. Well, it’s 4pm as I write this and so far we’ve had an epic nosebleed from Ella and stomach cramps (we suspect from the unusually high soda intake) from Milo and I’m currently hiding out in the bathtub typing this, watching Netflix and drinking the last beer from the mini fridge.

I’ve posted some vlogs since we’ve been here as well as some pictures of the trip on instagram and I know that from the outside everything looks rosy but that in itself adds pressure to my social media minded self. We have to be having a good time. Everyone thinks we’re having a good time. I’m here to let you know that so far, it has been a challenge. I don’t blame Vegas, there are tons of activities for kids and on another week things may have gone very differently but any parents out there know that the mood of your children on any given day is complete luck and right now I’m on a losing streak.

Cosmopolitan Las Vegasm1

One thing that has lingered in my mind is that the kids are both reaching turning points. Milo is almost 6 and finding his attitude, Ella is on the teenage brink and we all know how that goes. If I really take a moment to think, they have been pushing my buttons recently so we may just be entering a difficult phase of parenthood. It’s all fun and games, isn’t it?

We have something planned this evening but for our last 3 days we are totally free so I think strategic activities and early nights may be our solution. I spoke last month about the positivity culture sometimes making you feel inadequate and I have definitely suffered from that this week but at the same time I could do with a dose. New York was my idea and I was determined to make it the best holiday I could so I was mr. happy the entire trip. This wasn’t my idea.. I’m not blaming my husband, it was a good deal and I was on board but I definitely didn’t enter in to it with the same attitude as our last long haul holiday.

I’m not ready to write it off just yet but I wanted to check in and let you know that not everything is always as it seems in blogger-land. It’s easy to be envious of other people’s lifestyles/families/relationships but people only share what they want you to see. and much as I still want to share the good I also want to be honest. Even on your best day you’re probably not happy 100% of the time right? ..but this is not my best day

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17 Comments

  1. Amanda
    17 August, 2017 / 7:10 am

    I admire your honesty. I’m like you and plan, plan, plan when it comes to holidays, however I always enjoy the ‘free’ not so planned days more where there’s less pressure and fewer time constraints and everything just feels that little bit more relaxed. Hope you find some cool things to do your last couple of days, the view from your hotel room looks amazing! xx

  2. 17 August, 2017 / 7:35 am

    I love your honesty, it would be tempting to sugar coat it especially for social media. I have just come back from holiday with my two kids and felt the same, I feel inadequate that my son is constantly pulling sulks and my daughter thinks she is a stuntwoman

  3. Rebecca
    17 August, 2017 / 8:12 am

    I totally understand you on this one! We went on holiday end of July and although it wasn’t abroad, we only went to mablethorpe as the kids are 4 and nearly 2. While we were there the youngest got rushed in to hospital and hour away with breathing problems due to croup, so he was poorly nearly the whole time we were there. It rained almost everyday and all day, and to top it off our 4 year old was done with arcades and indoor activities by day 3 and we were there a week. I try and think of the good moments whilst there because I don’t want to remember the bad, however that is easier said then done. It was a disaster through and through and actually has us thinking if we want to go on another holiday for a while!

  4. Bev Buchanan
    17 August, 2017 / 10:53 am

    …and this is why I continue to read your blog and watch your YouTube videos. You are so REAL and I love it. Please keep it up, it’s so refreshing to get an insight into real blogger life. I hope you all enjoy the rest of your trip x

  5. Hayley Mountford
    17 August, 2017 / 12:33 pm

    Ah it must be hard at times and it’s refreshing to hear that. I hope it turns around and you have happy remaining days! Take a deep breath and stroke your new shoes lol xxx

  6. Lisa
    17 August, 2017 / 1:00 pm

    Oh Mikhila I feel for you. That ‘external’ pressure must be weighing on you it’s not wonder you’ve been close to the edge… kids can certainly push our buttons at the best of times, throw in jet lag, heat and spending all day everyday together can be hellish! I really admire your honesty especially as like you mentioned, you had people being being very critical. I’m sure you’ll have some bloody awesome times this trip too and they’ll outweigh the struggles. 11ish year old girls are tricky things – As Britney would say ‘not a girl not yet a woman’. Hormones all over the place and the pre-teen attitude is really tough! Hopefully things will have settled down by the time you read these comments and maybe having a vent on here has helped too x It will be an experience you’ll never forget and neither will the kids no matter how miserable they may be – they’ll still love having been with you both! In the meantime screw everyone else’s opinions and the critics – and don’t feel pressure to portray anything other than ‘your truth’. Because that’s what we all respect about you x

  7. Amie
    17 August, 2017 / 1:19 pm

    Honestly, you are the refreshing dose of honesty I feel like I constantly need! Loved this post and how real you constantly keep it. Hope the rest of the trip is better (especially after the highs of SJP!). This is a minor one but if you haven’t gone to Sprinkles in the Linq yet – it might be a win all around. I went every opportunity I could last time and it turned even the grumpiest camper into a happy one! 🙂 xx

  8. Virginia
    17 August, 2017 / 2:40 pm

    Vacations can be a challenge no matter what. Thank you for sharing and hang in there. You will look back on it with joy, I promise!

  9. Jane
    17 August, 2017 / 6:23 pm

    Yes, these things happen! I also think kids get to the stage where what they want from a holiday is to meet other kids. Not doing stuff with me! At least my kids. That can be more difficult on the type of holiday you are on. We went self catering in the UK and in hindsight I really wished we had done a Haven or something. So they could more easily meet other kids. We all try our best, and we all learn in hindsight, and kids can be fickle little wotsits! I hope the least three days work out better. Maybe the jet lag can fade and you can get in a better rhythm. And hey, it’s Vegas baby. thank you for your honesty. It’s really appreciated. 🙂

  10. 17 August, 2017 / 10:26 pm

    I love your honesty and always appreciate it. I hope the rest of the trip picks up for your because I know how much you love vegas. If not, beer. 🙂

  11. 18 August, 2017 / 8:50 am

    Love and respect your honesty so so much and I just want to say that even if there’s a couple meltdowns in a holiday that’s completely natural for anyone (not just children, human beings!) and that doesn’t mean that it was a bad idea or that the place was ‘no place for kids’. I remember reading about those comments you received last year for being your children to New York and I didn’t get it. There are children growing up in New York and Vegas too! I’ve been around the world since I was 5 and one of my best childhood holiday memories is my dad winning me and my cousins a ton of soft toys from Circus Circus in Vegas when I was 8.

  12. Keely
    18 August, 2017 / 10:29 am

    This is why I came off Facebook last year! Everybody sharing their perfect lives/homes/holidays/kids blah blah blah!! The final straw for me was Mother’s Day, I felt like I had to have a perfect day like everyone else was, when in actual fact my 15 year old daughter didn’t appear to care less! I got so upset and the day was a real let down! Not because my daughter didn’t care because she absolutely does, but because my expectations were unrealistic! So I didn’t get a joe malone candle or even breakfast in bed but what I did get, very late on in the day, was a rugby tackle on the bed and a kiss goodnight for the first time in over a year! Grit your teeth through the times when you feel like your hitting your head against a brick wall because it’s all part of growing up, you’ve just got to let them do it in there own way! Put this trip down to experience, stick your 2 fingers up to those that judge, they are nothing to you! Enjoy your last couple of days and think about what your next adventure will be xxx

  13. Gillian Pidler
    18 August, 2017 / 12:25 pm

    Hi Mikila, I totally understand how you are feeling. We always holiday in the UK, we stay on a holiday camp and the accommodation is our base but every day we are out doing stuff, all day. And we always eat our main meal out whether that’s at lunchtime or in the evening depending on where we go that day. Now our holiday week is the most important of the year for us as we only get one family holiday a year as I’m sick and disabled so no longer working, so we cherish this time with us all together. But in the past I have felt off on certain days and felt like something is not right and that the way I feel (emotionally not physically) is spoiling things. It’s the strangest thing and I think all sorts of things can make you feel that way, like you say the kids behaviour or if something is off with you and your partner it can impact, just like any other day of the year I guess. I think we all want every day of our holidays to be perfect because it is special but it is in reality just another day with your family and we all know that some of those days don’t go to plan! Relax, take each day as it comes and do what you all fancy as a family and I’m sure that you will all enjoy the rest of the trip. We always like to have a loose list of the days out we want to do and have a couple that are more flexible with no firm ideas, this works well for us. Enjoy the rest of the trip xxx

  14. Tessa
    19 August, 2017 / 10:11 am

    I don’t have children but I understand the pressure to have a good time. Last weekend I was supposed to have a weekend away but it fell through so my partner promised a lovely weekend at home with just the two of us doing things we want. I then hyped it in my head and it simply disappointed as I had unrealistic expectations and the weather didn’t help. Had a complete melt down by Saturday lunch. I had a nap and felt better about things and ended up really enjoying doing nothing. I felt I had to be out and about for the perfect weekend but that’s not true.

    It’s tough to match expectations in this modern world. So much pressure to have the perfect instagrammable life but life is imperfect most of the time!! I really feel for kids having to grow up with it. Hope your daughter manages to keep her head screwed on through her teen years as they look ten times harder than it was for us.

  15. Lois
    21 August, 2017 / 8:17 am

    Love your honesty. Completely agree with the facebook thing too. Cant bare to look at FB with all the “perfect lives” on there Having the worst summer

  16. Rachel
    21 August, 2017 / 8:30 pm

    Do you still love mac stereo rose? Makeup revolutions rose gold lights is very similar ?

  17. Nicola
    21 August, 2017 / 11:35 pm

    It’s such a shame that you’ve had a bad day/few days but totally refreshing to see your honesty about it all!
    I was in Vegas earlier this year with my husband for our honeymoon. As our first trip to Vegas, I had hyped it up so much and the trip overall didn’t disappoint!
    With that said, it wasn’t without its dramas and on our first full day, I ended up visiting the local A & E due to some terrible joint pain. NOT how I imagined the first day of my honeymoon! That, alongside the bill that we were presented with was a bit traumatic and put a downer on the following couple of days. Eventually, I was able to snap out of it and made the most of the rest of our trip!
    Thank you for showing a realistic account of what I hope was still an amazing holiday and not the ‘perfect’ instagram version we are all so sick of seeing! X

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