I didn’t post yesterday because we were all exhausted. We fell asleep and almost missed our evening show, Milo was miserable and by the time we got back I was at breaking point. Maybe because of the aforementioned exhaustion, maybe because the kids were driving my nuts but probably because I had such high expectations for this trip and it just wasn’t living up to them.
We took the kids to New York last year and I received many comments from online know-betters that it was no place for children. I went all out in the week we were there to show the kids the best the city had to offer them and to prove those commenters wrong. It was amazing, our best family holiday yet and although even I was skeptical about a 5 year old in sin city I was optimistic after last years success. So when I finally snapped yesterday I think that was the primary reason.
I cleaned up the hotel room, organised the bathroom, told myself today would be a fresh start and promised to have sunnier outlook in the morning. Well, it’s 4pm as I write this and so far we’ve had an epic nosebleed from Ella and stomach cramps (we suspect from the unusually high soda intake) from Milo and I’m currently hiding out in the bathtub typing this, watching Netflix and drinking the last beer from the mini fridge.
I’ve posted some vlogs since we’ve been here as well as some pictures of the trip on instagram and I know that from the outside everything looks rosy but that in itself adds pressure to my social media minded self. We have to be having a good time. Everyone thinks we’re having a good time. I’m here to let you know that so far, it has been a challenge. I don’t blame Vegas, there are tons of activities for kids and on another week things may have gone very differently but any parents out there know that the mood of your children on any given day is complete luck and right now I’m on a losing streak.
One thing that has lingered in my mind is that the kids are both reaching turning points. Milo is almost 6 and finding his attitude, Ella is on the teenage brink and we all know how that goes. If I really take a moment to think, they have been pushing my buttons recently so we may just be entering a difficult phase of parenthood. It’s all fun and games, isn’t it?
We have something planned this evening but for our last 3 days we are totally free so I think strategic activities and early nights may be our solution. I spoke last month about the positivity culture sometimes making you feel inadequate and I have definitely suffered from that this week but at the same time I could do with a dose. New York was my idea and I was determined to make it the best holiday I could so I was mr. happy the entire trip. This wasn’t my idea.. I’m not blaming my husband, it was a good deal and I was on board but I definitely didn’t enter in to it with the same attitude as our last long haul holiday.
I’m not ready to write it off just yet but I wanted to check in and let you know that not everything is always as it seems in blogger-land. It’s easy to be envious of other people’s lifestyles/families/relationships but people only share what they want you to see. and much as I still want to share the good I also want to be honest. Even on your best day you’re probably not happy 100% of the time right? ..but this is not my best day