The Curse Of The Girl Boss

I know other people must have written about this concept but this week it’s very much on my mind. I feel so over-extended this month and as it crawls to a close and I can already taste the less committed freedom of May I can’t help but wonder (Bradshaw style) ..is this the curse of the Girl Boss?

I would love to know if I was always like this, maybe I was because really just the whole concept of starting a blog (which hobby or not is work) as a sideline is the mark of someone who likes to feel busy, right? But these days it seems like we (women specifically) have to be busy or we’re not doing enough. I find it impossible to relax, it is so very rare that I lay on the sofa without a device in my hand or may lap (a laptop, guys!) that I’m not sure I every have any real down time. Actually, that’s a lie. I think this is why at 32 I am still completely obsessed with The Sims because for the hour or 2 that I play from time to time I really am disconnected. I have no desire to instagram it, it doesn’t provide any real world distractions, I’m not like ‘oh, I wonder where my sim got that top, let me spend 3 hours googling it’. It’s true escapism and I think that’s why it’s still so popular so many years on.

But other than occasional visit to Riverblossom Hills (which, let’s face it, is still active screen time) I very rarely switch off. When I’m not able to work/browse the internet I am listening to podcasts or audiobooks, when I’m in the bath I’m watching YouTube videos, when I’m watching TV I’m editing pictures or reading blogs but when it comes time to actually work I’m often so overwhelmed with the list of tasks I’ve assigned myself I get absolutely nothing done.. which only feeds my feeling that I can’t relax because I should be working.

I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of person but I will never truly know whether this need to be ‘busy’ is a product of the ‘Girl Boss’ trend to create an  empire and kick ass or whether it’s just a part of me. Do you all feel the pressure or do you get home and lay on the sofa, watching the soaps with zero guilt? I also wonder whether it’s because I was a young parent. Do I have something to prove because the stereotypical teen mum is just sitting around all day? On top of that I have the guilt while I’m working that I’m not being a good mum and I’m spending too much time away from the kids to achieve these many dreams I’m working towards. It’s basically a millennial minefield we’ve created for ourselves.. again, assuming this isn’t just me feeling this way. If you all tell me you’re perfectly content with your work life balance I might have a little cry.

I’m currently sitting in costa waiting for todays video to upload and decided to brain dump before I go home and actually relax – or at least try. Sitting in a coffee shop working and then coming home when I’m done has actually been a bit of a revelation. I know it’s a total blogger clichĂ© but I’ve been coming here after my ‘real job’ to get things done with a decent internet connection and no distractions for a bonus has been that when I get home I actually feel a work/life divide I’ve never experienced while blogging. Something I may take to doing more often in a bid to alleviate some of the above but for now, am I alone? Do you feel this constant weight? Is being a ‘Girl Boss’ a choice or is it something we’ve all kind of been guilted in to in the newest feminism wave?

 

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9 Comments

  1. 24 April, 2018 / 7:15 pm

    Oh, I loved reading this, I can relate so much! I always feel like there something I could be doing! My chill time never takes long to turn into ‘I’ll just upload a post to Instagram and take some photos for the blog’

    I’m definitely going to try working in a coffee shop to get that divide in! xx

    http://www.chloeharriets.com/

    • missbudgetbeauty
      Author
      25 April, 2018 / 11:19 pm

      I think for me the internet connection I’ve had since moving in 2016 has really caused more stress than anticipated. Everything I do is so much harder and so much slower and so I’m working for longer unecessarily and burning out over less and less work. It’s driving me NUTS! Right now I’ve had a video uploading for 3 hours and it’s at 4% with no chance of accepting a thumbnail, something that in said coffee shop would have been done in 10mins. I’d have had that productive mood bump and have gone to bed feeling accomplished. As is I’m going to bed tense because todays video is late and I want to throw my laptop out of the window, LMAO

  2. Jodie
    25 April, 2018 / 11:43 am

    I don’t know why people put so much pressure on themselves. I’ve seen loads of people recently blogging about how stressed and overwhelmed they are by standards they’ve placed on themselves and comparing themselves to what they see on instagram or whatever. It’s really getting depressing. Just give yourself a break! You are the only one holding yourself to that standard. I saw Ruth Crilly the other day post a 20 minute video about how she needs to change her diet and exercise more. She has two young kids and she looks amazing already. Just watching it made me miserable. Bloggers aren’t doing themselves any favours by expecting too much of themselves then bringing their audience down by moaning when they can’t achieve perfection. I hope I don’t sound harsh, it just seems to be a theme these days.

    • missbudgetbeauty
      Author
      25 April, 2018 / 11:16 pm

      No, I hear you but I don’t think it’s necessarily a blogger-specific trend. I think lots of people feel this way right now. You are watching vlogs to escape the mundane daily grind, however, and hearing more of the same sounds like it’s irritating you. Same reason I don’t watch soaps, haha, lots of people love them because they’re ‘relatable’ but I find them dull as can be.. I like my entertainment to take me away from life.

      On top of that, you wont realise that for some, their audience applies at least some of that pressure. Whether it be comments about diet and weight for Ruth or just a tweet asking when the next video/blog post will be uploaded people have high expectations these days all round so although I see where you’re coming from and you’re effectively echoing the point I was making with this post I don’t think you have the full picture when it comes to online creators.

  3. 26 April, 2018 / 8:56 am

    I get this. I’m reading this while eating my breakfast. Sometimes I feel this way. But then I think about how many series on Netflix I’ve got through this month and feel guilty. I suppose that’s part of the problem – feeling guilty about the 1hr a day my partner and I spend watching TV together. The 4 hour Gilmore Girls binges on the other other…

    • missbudgetbeauty
      Author
      26 April, 2018 / 9:33 am

      you are so right!! Yesterday should have been a filming day but I spent half of it watching Nashville and eating supernoodles and the second half cleaning the house top to bottom so I felt like I’d done something lol

    • missbudgetbeauty
      Author
      11 May, 2018 / 9:49 am

      at one point I started making videos about what I’d been watching on netflix to justify how much TV I consumed lol

  4. 28 April, 2018 / 10:43 pm

    I’m with you on this one. I always thought it was the way I was reared, there was always housework to do, something needing to be put away, something to sort. So really, it’s partially my mam always at me to be busy. Both myself and my sister are the same – we find it hard to actually relax and switch off. Although I’ve been working on it and slowly getting better at taking time off and actually switching off. I think this has been going on for much longer than the Girl Boss wave.

    Honestly Aine

    • missbudgetbeauty
      Author
      11 May, 2018 / 9:48 am

      completely! It’s a personality trait, not necessarily a blogger thing or even a social media thing but I don’t think it’s helped!

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