I found this snap of Milo on my computer and it made me smile but it also made me wonder.. when did we become so obsessed with what other people think of us? This is two fold for me because I care about what people think of me and of me as a mother. When I saw this picture I immediately wanted to share it, I think it was maybe in a vlog at some point anyway but my first thought was ‘some people with take issue with this’. That’s almost always my first thought before sharing anything about the kids online. People LOVE to tell you what you’re doing wrong as a parent as what they would do if they were you. Well guess what? They’re not me and I’ll do as I damn well please!
That’s what I’d like to say but that I’ve learnt will get me absolutely nowhere and so I endeavor to keep it shut when faced with these nuggets of wisdom. Compared to parenting advice what people think of me really means so very little that these days I tend not to care much at all. For example, I had my eyebrows microbladed recently and someone told me that they loved my natural eyebrows and that they didn’t like my ‘new’ ones as much. I’m fairly certain that’s the kind of thing you could keep to yourself. If a situation can’t be changed then opinions regarding what you should/shouldn’t have done are really rather pointless, no? I am actually very happy with my first ever face tattoos (I’m thinking a single teardrop next time) and so it means absolutely nothing to me but 1. why did this person feel so comfortable telling me that and 2. why did they think I should care?
“6 years later and she has yet to turn in to a chicken nugget but I strongly believe it could happen any day now”
Milo had no problem whacking a bin on his head while wandering around IKEA.. in fact he has no problem doing almost anything in public that may draw a crowd. He dances through shopping centres, cartwheels in goal at football and (I’m told) has very loud conversations about his Dad’s tackle in toilet cubicles, never pausing to wonder who might be listening. My Daughter is 11 so she has already passed the caring threshold but I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened and I will never really know how much social media impacted that for her because I’ve never parented a pre-teen without it.
It’s funny for me because just as I was growing up and potentially growing out of the stage of worrying about other people judging me I was starting a YouTube channel and putting myself online to be scrutinised by strangers. I got everything from ‘You’re a bad mother because all you feed your daughter is beige food’ – side note, 6 years later and she has yet to turn in to a chicken nugget but I strongly believe it could happen any day now – to ‘you share her with her Dad so you must not love her’ ..seriously! It was tough but it made me tough, I’m considerably better equipped to deal with other people’s neuroses at 31 that I did at 21, that’s for sure.
“There are people who just love to tell you you’re doing things wrong but there are very few among us who are truly selfless”
I used to get one holiday a year without my kids (courtesy of Grandma’s Babysitting co.) and the amount of sh*t people gave me about that was unreal.. but when I started taking them with us that was no good either. I’m not in to paying thousands of pounds to go to Butlins (I’m sure it’s lovely but it’s not for me) and apparently New York is not an appropriate family holiday destination – May I direct you to these vlogs to disprove that theory? 😉
I know this just seems like one long rant but I’m going somewhere with this, I promise. There are people who just love to tell you you’re doing things wrong but there are very few among us who are truly selfless. Maybe your the Mum who loves to bake, you will bake with your kids and it wont be a chore while another Mum will think you’re a superhero. Let’s be honest.. you’re not doing it only for the kids, are you? Maybe you love crafts.. you’ll be the crafty Mum, or music, or dancing, or football, whatever! There are some people who truly live for their kids but you know what? they love that! If they didn’t they wouldn’t do it, don’t let them try and convince you otherwise!!
“I will always encourage Milo to put a bin on his head (preferably clean) and walk around IKEA if the mood strikes”
There are very serious people who don’t like silliness, I’m not one of those people. I will always make light when someone is sad (WARNING – not always appropriate) and I will always encourage Milo to put a bin on his head (preferably clean) and walk around IKEA if the mood strikes. I wont always love practicing spellings with my daughter, I wont always love taking the kids to birthday parties, I do hate the school run with a passion but I don’t care what you think of me for any of those things. It’s natural to compare yourself to other people and wonder how they see you but every time you catch yourself judging someone else (we all do it) remember that what they are doing (probably) has no impact on your life whatsoever.. so why do you care and why should they?