When Did We Start Caring So Much About What Other People Think?

I found this snap of Milo on my computer and it made me smile but it also made me wonder.. when did we become so obsessed with what other people think of us? This is two fold for me because I care about what people think of me and of me as a mother. When I saw this picture I immediately wanted to share it, I think it was maybe in a vlog at some point anyway but my first thought was ‘some people with take issue with this’. That’s almost always my first thought before sharing anything about the kids online. People LOVE to tell you what you’re doing wrong as a parent as what they would do if they were you. Well guess what? They’re not me and I’ll do as I damn well please!

That’s what I’d like to say but that I’ve learnt will get me absolutely nowhere and so I endeavor to keep it shut when faced with these nuggets of wisdom. Compared to parenting advice what people think of me really means so very little that these days I tend not to care much at all. For example, I had my eyebrows microbladed recently and someone told me that they loved my natural eyebrows and that they didn’t like my ‘new’ ones as much. I’m fairly certain that’s the kind of thing you could keep to yourself. If a situation can’t be changed then opinions regarding what you should/shouldn’t have done are really rather pointless, no? I am actually very happy with my first ever face tattoos (I’m thinking a single teardrop next time) and so it means absolutely nothing to me but 1. why did this person feel so comfortable telling me that and 2. why did they think I should care?

“6 years later and she has yet to turn in to a chicken nugget but I strongly believe it could happen any day now”

Milo had no problem whacking a bin on his head while wandering around IKEA.. in fact he has no problem doing almost anything in public that may draw a crowd. He dances through shopping centres, cartwheels in goal at football and (I’m told) has very loud conversations about his Dad’s tackle in toilet cubicles, never pausing to wonder who might be listening. My Daughter is 11 so she has already passed the caring threshold but I can’t pinpoint exactly when it happened and I will never really know how much social media impacted that for her because I’ve never parented a pre-teen without it.

It’s funny for me because just as I was growing up and potentially growing out of the stage of worrying about other people judging me I was starting a YouTube channel and putting myself online to be scrutinised by strangers. I got everything from ‘You’re a bad mother because all you feed your daughter is beige food’ – side note, 6 years later and she has yet to turn in to a chicken nugget but I strongly believe it could happen any day now – to ‘you share her with her Dad so you must not love her’ ..seriously! It was tough but it made me tough, I’m considerably better equipped to deal with other people’s neuroses at 31 that I did at 21, that’s for sure.

“There are people who just love to tell you you’re doing things wrong but there are very few among us who are truly selfless”

I used to get one holiday a year without my kids (courtesy of Grandma’s Babysitting co.) and the amount of sh*t people gave me about that was unreal.. but when I started taking them with us that was no good either. I’m not in to paying thousands of pounds to go to Butlins (I’m sure it’s lovely but it’s not for me) and apparently New York is not an appropriate family holiday destination – May I direct you to these vlogs to disprove that theory? 😉

I know this just seems like one long rant but I’m going somewhere with this, I promise. There are people who just love to tell you you’re doing things wrong but there are very few among us who are truly selfless. Maybe your the Mum who loves to bake, you will bake with your kids and it wont be a chore while another Mum will think you’re a superhero. Let’s be honest.. you’re not doing it only for the kids, are you? Maybe you love crafts.. you’ll be the crafty Mum, or music, or dancing, or football, whatever! There are some people who truly live for their kids but you know what? they love that! If they didn’t they wouldn’t do it, don’t let them try and convince you otherwise!!

“I will always encourage Milo to put a bin on his head (preferably clean) and walk around IKEA if the mood strikes”

There are very serious people who don’t like silliness, I’m not one of those people. I will always make light when someone is sad (WARNING – not always appropriate) and I will always encourage Milo to put a bin on his head (preferably clean) and walk around IKEA if the mood strikes. I wont always love practicing spellings with my daughter, I wont always love taking the kids to birthday parties, I do hate the school run with a passion but I don’t care what you think of me for any of those things. It’s natural to compare yourself to other people and wonder how they see you but  every time you catch yourself judging someone else (we all do it) remember that what they are doing (probably) has no impact on your life whatsoever.. so why do you care and why should they?

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8 Comments

    • 25 June, 2017 / 7:37 am

      That was meant to say great read.

  1. 25 June, 2017 / 9:18 am

    I love this post, you are so true. I think society has changed over the past ten years, our ability to express our opinion on everything has made things more judgemental and less empathetic. I constantly hear my friends scrutinise themselves and compare themselves, feeling guilty for not being ‘perfect’. Im now just doing whatever makes me and my children happy and stuff everything else, life is too short.

  2. Robyn France
    25 June, 2017 / 9:39 am

    Love this

  3. misswhiskeykittie
    26 June, 2017 / 8:55 am

    I think it’s pretty sad how some people feel the need to shame others online. In your vlogs you always come across as a great Mum and I think New York is a fantastic holiday destination! Just keep doing your own thing and ignore the haters. It’s funny how random strangers suddenly think they’re parenting experts (massive eye roll) x

  4. Virginia
    26 June, 2017 / 12:09 pm

    It’s a great picture!

  5. 30 June, 2017 / 4:20 am

    Great read,I used to care more when I was younger but I deffo still do now but that’s anxiety for you. My anxiety tells me people really don’t like me,it’s prob not true (it could be) but in my head it’s very true and hurts my feelings even though I don’t even know if they do or don’t like me lol…. anxiety is a messed up thing for instance I though Khila must not really like me as she follows me on Twitter but not Instagram and she follows anybody on Instagram. Did I do something for her to not like me,doesn’t she like my photos etc etc. Wtf I know this is prob not the case (could be) but my anxiety kinda gives you paranoia that you’ve upset somebody without even knowing…. I have learnt to deal with hate on YouTube much better as I don’t know them so don’t care. Oh I want my eyebrows microbladed btw and have done since watching Pixiwoo,I think urs look fab so don’t listen. But yes in a nut shell I quietly do care what people think but try not to show it as don’t want to look weak or like I give a shite lol.Anxiety hate it,paranoid weirdo that I am lol xxx 😉

  6. Sara
    2 July, 2017 / 9:42 pm

    Live your life and don’t give a f@@k what others think . Parenting,working , holidays, what you wear, what you spend etc etc will always get negative reactions from some people. Who cares …. its not your job to appease them. As long as you and your family are happy that’s all that matters x

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