This week started SO WELL! I mean, I was up EARLY blogging BEFORE work, for Christs sake! What happened?
Well, I’m glad you asked. I spent a good portion of my office hours this week listening to motivational podcasts (parts of my job are very monotonous and podcasts/audiobooks help keep me focused and stop me from chatting) so by the time Wednesday rolled around (my first blogging day) I was full of ideas and couldn’t wait to film and write. I may have touched on our shoddy internet in the past, I mean it’s barely worth discussing but it’s possible I’ve told you about it in every post since we moved in 2016. Well it was just not playing ball, wouldn’t upload an image, wouldn’t download a song to use in editing, just wouldn’t anything. I decided to get some video filmed and pictures taken and move my operation to a local coffee house. You may have one where you live, Costa? Yeah, there. They don’t have good wifi either but at least I’d have data from my phone there.. oh, did I not mention I get zero phone signal in my house either? I’m starting to wonder whether this entire estate is just a social experiment to see how quickly we turn on each other.
So I packed up my life and set it all up in a corner of said coffee house, ordered myself a toastie, a drink, a little cake.. things were looking up. I had finally settled in when I spotted 3 missed calls on my phone, unusual. I called the number.. Milo had been sick and had to come home from school. Now, I know I’m his Mum and obviously I felt for the guy but COME ON! Last Wednesday-Friday we had at least one kid home because of the snow and so I already had a backlog of work that I hadn’t finished, this was my week, man! MY WEEK! I packed everything back up, got my order to go and collected a very chirpy Milo from school to be told he couldn’t return for the rest of the week. Excellent!
I’m typing this in bed on Saturday afternoon because I got about 10% of what I needed to get done, done with Milo on my shoulder asking me to look at things every 30 seconds and right now I’m feeling defeated. It is literally always something. My husband is a very hands on Dad and I never really feel justified in complaining about parenting duties because he does Milo’s washing and ironing, he baths him, he gets his tea, practices his spellings.. he’s basically ‘Mum’ in stereotypical terms and so if I’m ‘Dad’ then what do I have to complain about? Day-to-day, nothing. Really, nothing but when it comes to work and childcare I feel like ‘Dad’ in Mums body. I’m working from home and yet I do the school run, I organise childcare for my day job, I take time off for sickness. I feel guilty for prioritising work but get no credit when I don’t because at some point it needs to be done and so it would appear that I’m ‘always working’ and ‘never playing’.
When Daddy comes home he can play but when Daddy comes home he’s off the clock. His work day hasn’t been broken up by pick ups and drop offs and he didn’t have to consider whether he could go to work that day.. he just went. In fairness to him, he did offer to take a day off for me but how could I say yes? I’m home anyway, I can work whenever.. it’s just that then that becomes working when I’d rather not be.. like on a Saturday afternoon. Right now Milo will be in his element, playing with Daddy and thinking I’m having some ‘me time’ and so the idea of Mummy needing an entire day will be laughable to him. Mummy has ALL the time, why does she need more? He actually complained this week that I always choose what his Dad and I have for tea.. it is of no concern to him what his Dad eats but he’s in this phase where everything could be an argument and Daddy is King. It’s been going on for about 3 years.
He asked recently why Mummy’s get a Mothers Day but kids don’t get a day. Birthdays don’t count, of course, we all get those and I couldn’t quite answer him. I know that for some it’s about treating their Mum to lunch or a bunch of flowers and thanking them for being their for them. For others it’s a day off for Mum, some people I know are going out with the girls, I totally get that. We all seem to celebrate in different ways and I think what I would like is 1 day where I don’t feel guilty for watching the show I want to watch, working if I need to and not building something out of lego. I’m not Mum of the year, I don’t need to be celebrated but we all ‘need a day’ in our own way for our own reasons. We’ve all earned ONE DAY, surely!
.. and if you don’t have a Mum to spoil and you’re not a Mum yourself, take it as an excuse to have your own day.