She’s back with another self indulgent diary entry, folks.

I don’t usually suffer with insomnia, sometimes it’s tricky to fall asleep but generally when I’m out I’m OUT. Recently, however I’ve found myself waking up, mind racing at 2am. Tonight (this morning?) I decided to just get up and use the time rather than lay awake, anxious that I can’t get back to sleep.

I’m sitting on the sofa next to the loudest dog in the world. If I thought I might nap down here, I was wrong. Considering making myself a cup of the herbal tea I bought but have to force down because - herbal tea. Considering sneaking in the kitchen to record a podcast of nonsense about how I can’t sleep. Deciding to write some nonsense instead because it’s less likely to wake anyone else up.

In the run up to our Vegas trip (have I blogged about this? I feel like I haven’t but HOW?!) I have a weird stress/excited (strexcited?) energy. I think because we’re doing the whole vow renewal, it’s almost pre-wedding jitters because I’ve put so much on this trip and this EVENT being something epic, it can’t possibly live up.

I’m trying to dial it down a little and am practicing ‘managing my expectations’, as they say.. but it’s obviously under the surface because it’s popping open my eyes in the middle of teh night.

I’m equally already a bit sad because it’s almost over.. isn’t that awful? I feel almost ashamed to admit that, honestly.

I feel like it’s so difficult to live in the moment these days and that’s something I really want to focus on for the last few months of the year - she says.. planning ahead.

Anyway.. I’m going to go and make my lavendar tea and probably record that nonsense after all but I thought I’d pop on and type, Hi! while I' should be sleeping and am thinking of absolutely everything and anything I haven’t done (like this) in months that maybe I should.