For years (12 to be precise) I've been an outspoken advocate for leaving your kids behind (with a responsible adult) and taking time away for yourself/with your partner. I've never (rarely) felt any guilt for doing this myself and left Milo at 6 months old to honeymoon in Vegas without a second thought. With that in mind; imagine my susprise this weekend when we were discussing our 2019 holiday plans and neither of us wanted to leave the kids at home.Since Ella was born my Mum has (very generously) given me a week of leave each year to look after my kids so I could experience some none-Mum life (I was 19 when I had her) as a young adult. It was easy to leave them as little ones because they had no idea/were having fun without us. When Ella grew up she stayed with her Dad so I wasn't really leaving her so much as she was having an extended period with him. Now Milo is older; and we've had some successful family trips, it's hard to justify leaving them behind for a week.I'm not saying we never will again but right now we're both feeling an unfamiliar angst about leaving. I'm not sure if it's because we're older and more prepared to make the 'sacrifice' (I'm just being honest with you.. I get that it's not the same for everyone but our couples only time has been very precious in the past) or that he's going through a clingy phase and isn't as keen on us leaving him so we're feeling the guilt. Either way; no matter how excited I might be about adult activities, I know that pang will dampen that excitement when I'm there without them.I mean; in an ideal world we'd travel with a nanny who would babysit so we could go out for dinner etc, right? But for now I thought I'd just put it out there for those of you who've never been inclined and have previously thought I was an absolute nutter.. and for those of you who; like us, are recognising this strange feeling of enjoying your childrens company as they get older. I will still take them to the destinations we want to travel and find things to do that will interest us all but I think I might finally be all in on this parenting lark. Huh!