WEEKLY WINS #7

ASKING FOR HELP

I don’t have many wins to share this week but I wanted to talk about this one. As you may know if you’ve followed me for a while, I suspect I have ADHD. I know, I know.. ‘everyone has ADHD these days’.. ‘it’s a fad’.. I hear you.. but if you knew even a snippet if my real life, you may feel differently. When I started to really look in to it in 2022 it was as if someone was explaining ME to me.

So much of what I’ve struggled with growing up, so much behaviour labelled as odd or even ‘bad’ and then the impulsivity. Debt, young marriage, teen pregnancy, divorce within a year.. ther personal ad writes itself. I finally worked myself up to see my GP in late 2022 and wanted to go armed with as much information as I could so I sat down to take some notes and as things came out, so did the tears. I couldn’t stop crying. By the time I saw the doctor 2 hours later I was a wreck. She diagnosed me with moderate anxiety and depression and medicated me accordingly. I asked about ADHD but she told me I was too old and would need to seek private assessment.

So I took what she gave me and waited it out. It wasn’t right.. that story is for another time but I decided to go back, this time with letters and information about Right To Choose and being referred for an ADHD assessment that way. This doctor told me I WASN’T too old and referred me via the NHS after I filled out some pre-assessment forms. Now I’m a year later, no medication and no end in sight (the waiting lists are years long) and my day to day is getting more challenging. I can’t focus, I feel constantly overwhelmed and even after a productive day, I can’t shake the feeling that my to do list is impossibly long, regardless of what’s on it.

On top of that I have had chonic neck/shoulder pain for 10 years and that has now reached a point where even the strong pain killers aren’t helping any. My husband is constantly telling me to go back but it’s easier said than done. It often feels like a waste of time but yesterday I decided enough was enough. I have to advocate for myself and tell (not so much ask at this point) them what I need.

It doesn’t feel like much of a win but I’m really trying to see it as one. I' find it hard to finally say ‘this is too much’ but.. this is too much. So I made the call, I have the appointment (albeit weeks away) and that’s a positive step, so that’s a win

What was your biggest win this week?